How I overcame bullying and the best advice I would give
It happens to most of us sadly and it happened to me on many occasions and even to this day in 2020. Bullying can come in many formats. The physical. I was beaten so badly by my father when I was at school with the cane which had a rope around it.
I couldn’t sit down
That I could not sit on my chair at school, I had to sit on my coat, I thought at the time of going to the school nurse and asking her to look at the bruising. However, I thought if I did that my mum and dad would get in trouble and maybe split up, so I didn’t say anything.
The group, peer pressure bullying., I was out with my brother and his friend, I was 14 at the time, a large group of boys had seen us down the park and were heading for the three of us, I remember thinking I know what is going to happen, my brother was 4 years younger, I told them both to walk on and I stayed still.
The group caught up with me, there were about 20 boys mixed ages, all of a sudden I was hit in the face, everyone jumped me, next I’m on the ground protecting my face and crying. They eventually stopped kicking and punching me and walked off.
Power struggle with management
Management and power struggle bullying, this I get a lot of, I would like to think I’m intelligent and knowledgeable having studied so many different subjects and done so many different jobs.
I see myself as a quiet person, not one for the limelight, works hard and says very little, yet too many managers, directors have felt inferior and somewhat insecure about my knowledge so get their managers to bully me verbally and emotionally the knock-on effect of this is I get ill and then have to have time off, When you hate a job that much, you have to leave it, your health it more important.
What have I learnt
At the time, it’s not pleasant, that time will pass, they will go away. Don’t react to them, that just feeds them, ignore them if you can, they will give up and pick on someone else. I have learnt that it is about jealousy and insecurity from there life’s if they do it to you they have and will do it to others.
I was a police officer for 4 years, in that time I never took out my baton, I was in many difficult situations and sometimes I had to take people to the ground, however, I never reached for my baton or hid behind as some of my colleagues did.
Talking is powerful
I have learnt over the many years, talking to people is a very powerful tool, listening to them, then saying nothing when they have run out of steam and then walking away.
There is no shame in walking away, it is not a sign of weakness, it is not shameful, the bully can’t talk to themselves, some just give up then and there, some follow you for a while then give up as your not answering them or adding to the fire.
Do not for revenge
Trust me, I have been down this road, wishing them harm, hope they get run over by a stream roller A big lesson here to learn and one I have helped so many clients with is. If you keep thinking about them, they become more powerful. I help a lot of survivors of sexual abuse. I say to them” If you don’t forgive who or what they did to you, they will take up rent-free space in your mind”.
Bullies never win
Don’t let the bullies win, they do move on, when you ignore them, or fight back and report them to HR at work. A good tip that I get people to do. Is get some paper and pen and write down all your thoughts, anger. Resentment and anything and everything about the bullies that are in your head, you must write every single thing and clear your head.
Then and this is the most important, Do Not Read it or check it, why? Because you have just cleared your head and if you reread it, you put all those nasty thoughts and feelings back into your head and you really don’t want that. The exercise will only take 20 minutes, when the time is up, rip up all the paperwork and don’t show anyone it, which allows you to write a the good, bad and ugly that we all think sometimes.
So after ripping it up. Burn it or throw it way. Best to burn then you can’t get it back out of the bin.
Remember, it is OK to be yourself. We are all different and special. We are unique.
Author of books on Amazon
I have 9 books selling on Amazon and I can’t spell, people come into my life that can help me proofread. I heal animal’s around the world from pictures people send me. I tune into their energy, that makes me really weird.
I have been misunderstood most of my life, they have judged a book by its cover and not met the real sensitive me. Then when they realise there mistake. They want to be my best friend. Too late. Thoughts, feelings and emotions are powerful enemies if you keep thinking about them. You are in control of your thoughts and your life.